Most bands showcase glowing praise on their websites — the kind of comments written by friends who feel obliged to be supportive, or by parents who are hoping the music career takes off before the basement lease expires. That’s sweet, but it’s not really our thing.

5¢ Miracle believes in radical transparency, emotional thriftiness, and the fine art of embracing the illusions that truly shape us: the comments that sting, confuse us, or make us briefly consider taking up pottery.

Instead of polishing our egos, we present the remarks that keep us humble, grounded, and occasionally awake at night. They fit with our vibe of maintaining lowered expectations. And don’t worry. We have removed the profanity.

“Hey, this almost sounds like music “

“Free Bird…”

“I kept waiting for the song to start. Then I realized it had”

“I didn’t know guitars could make that kind of sound on purpose”

“I’ve really enjoyed this exercise in lowering expectations”

“Your music reminds me of the sound my printer makes just before it dies”

“I love how every song feels like an intro to a better song you never get to”

“It’s refreshing to see musicians who aren’t afraid to disappoint”

Press and Media Coverage

Over the weeks, a handful of brave media mavens have attempted to describe 5¢ Miracle. Most of them failed. A few tried to be nice. Several were deeply confused. One may have been asleep. But in the spirit of radical honesty — and our ongoing commitment to keeping expectations comfortably low — we present these observations. Think of them as field notes or cautionary tales.

Selected Press Excerpts

The Madison Weekly Shopper: “5¢ Miracle is a band you can technically hear”

The Wisconsin Arts & Leisure Blog (defunct): “5¢ Miracle seem very committed to whatever it is they’re doing”

The Basement Scene Zine: “Imagine if two people tried to start a band at the same time but in different rooms”

The Local Open Mic Facebook Group: “I respect their confidence”

From the comment section of a video we deleted: “I kept waiting for the chorus. I’m still waiting”